During those darkest of times my prayer was to a "Higher Power," a nameless God that I only hoped was out there. I spent months praying for salvation from my Higher Power. And then He came to me, and made himself known to me...as Jesus.
You know what I did? No, I did not jump up and down and sing his blessings. I did not fall on my knees before Him. Nope, I got really mad. See, I had flat-out hated Christians for so long. They were arrogant and self-righteous, and also (I thought) really stupid to believe the things they did. Certain "Christians" had hurt me, and I never saw myself becoming a part of that crowd.
But Jesus didn't care about any of that. He didn't retract His invitation...the one He extends to us all...the invitation to just walk with Him. So I did. It took courage, and it still does. The difference now is that I have tasted the reward. Nothing in this world will ever last. But His love? His peace? His joy? My goodness, these things are everlasting.
I've learned that there are many ways to be a Christian, just like there are many ways to be a human. My constant prayer is that I am doing okay on both counts, not alienating people from this beautiful way of life, as others had alienated me. And not striving to be "good" for its own sake, but (hopefully) having goodness pour out as a natural consequence of the loving relationship I have with my savior.
Thirteen years. In some way, it seems like a long time. In others, it seems like I am just getting started. The most surprising thing is how wonderful the walk is, how when you take it there is always something delightful just around the corner. Even my trials have become opportunities for joy--and that's for sure something the world never did for me.
So, now you know a little bit more about my walk. Thanks for reading. And just for fun, here's what happens when I try and take photos around here: