Monday, February 4, 2013

That Unglued Mommy

My boys have been giving me fits.  Today's case in point was at the tail-end of a birthday party.  Half of you were there, so you got to witness me hauling one screaming child out of the party, the other one trailing behind whining about how it's not fair that he had to leave without cake.  (Yeah, it's not at all humiliating to be the one parent in 20 whose children act like disobedient little wretches at a birthday party.  You'd think we were at the dentist.)

If that were all, maybe I would've been okay, but earlier today Littlest acted a fool when we had his friends over: refusing to share, throwing stuff, you name it.  And he is waaaaay too old for this kind of mess.

And don't get me started on Biggest.  This is like the fifth time in a row he's acted with blatant defiance when its been time to leave someplace.  It has been repeatedly humiliating to me, and is also just patently unacceptable.

So, what do I do?  We've always followed the 1-2-3 Magic for Christian Parents Method.  And the consequence of losing a marble out of their marble jars has usually worked.  In recent times, not so much.  What to do?  We're working on it with Littlest.  Biggest now can't go anywhere until he proves to me he can obey with a happy heart as soon as I tell him "we're going."  And the Hubs is upstairs telling him how failing to honor your mother will result in a spanking.  For a child who has never received a spanking, this marks a brand new era in parenting for us.  We gotta put the smack down on this craziness.

But really, its how all this makes my emotions spin that really drives me nuts.

Unglued Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions
Love this book!

My small group and I are currently reading Lysa TerKeurst's book Unglued: Making Wise Choices in the Midst of Raw Emotions.  Thank God, because when I finally got those boys out to the car today I was, if not composed, at least able to sit with them for a few minutes and calm down.  I'll admit I didn't totally put the brakes on my mouth, but I certainly didn't let it fly like I might have in the past.  And what I kept thinking about was how these kids aren't my enemy in this situation.  I still regret how upset I got, and I still feel totally humiliated at the way they acted leaving the party.  But I think that today I did a little better than I might have done yesterday.  Maybe. Lysa calls it imperfect progress.  I always knew it by the phrase "Progress, Not Perfection."

Either way, here's to progress.

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4 comments:

  1. I'm doing this same study with my bible study. Loving it!! and learning!

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    Replies
    1. Isn't it great? Anything that can actually stick with me in a heated moment is definitely advice worth listening to!!!

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