We've had snot, fever, vomit, and now strep. Fortunately, one day on antibiotics and things are looking up again. And it gets me thinking about how my mood, my attitude, my perspective on everything is so affected by what is happening with them. If they're happy and healthy, life is great. If they aren't, life sucks.
This up-and-down roller-coaster over which I have no control is my least favorite thing about motherhood. I have deep issues surrounding loss and fear of loss, and every little sniffle taps into those. It's brutal, but it's what we all go through all the time. I would like to think I am pretty spiritually mature, but going through a rocky patch like this one show me I've got some growing to do. Because God gives me each day, even the days we find ourselves at Urgent Care. (Someone please tell me why we are always sickest on Sundays? Why???)
I know there are moms and dads out there who have problems so much bigger than strep throat. I am friends with a few of them, and knowing what they go through makes me feel ridiculous for panicking over a sore throat. I just wonder if I will ever be able to keep my perspective, even on those days when my children are feverish and hurting. Will I be able to feel God's love in those moments, just as I do when I feel blessed? I am reminded of the Serenity Prayer, which I learned a long time ago but seem to "forget" a lot:
God, grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot change,
the courage to change the things I can,
and the wisdom to know the difference.
Have you ever heard that one? How do you keep perspective when your kids get sick?