Wednesday, March 21, 2012

On Mothering More than One

I got to spend significant one-on-one time with each of my boys this past weekend (thanks Grandma!) and it got me thinking:
Why am I such a great Mommy when I only have one at a time?
Why can't I be equally great when I have them both?

When I just have one boy with me, I am so much more patient.  I listen not just to his words, but the meaning behind them.  See not just his behaviors, but the motivations behind them.  I hear the jokes more, see the needs more, and pay attention more.  I am nicer.  I am able to express more love.

And it feels just terrible to think that I am not measuring up in these categories pretty much all the time, because I am with both my children pretty much all the time.  I would like to be the Mommy I am with one child...but with two.  But how?

{And, by the way, what do moms do when they have three (or more)?  Are you moms of many just blessed with more patience?  Do you work harder at it than I do?}

Anyone feel me?  Have you been there before?  And how did you do better?  I would love your words of wisdom...



  1. Oh, Michelle! I feel you and am in the same spot much of the time. We Moms always feel as though we could, should and can do better. Chances are, you are doing just great! I found many years ago that spending time with each child on their own stays with them as well as me. My two teens remember and talk about those things we did...didn't even have to be much. Hang in there.

  2. You work hard and are one of the best moms I know. No joke. I think that b/c it is so unrealistic to have large chunks of one on one time (though I do think it's important when it can happen) that I have to be sure and even get small windows one on one and be intentional about it. I recently made a commitment to doing this w/ number 1 as often as possible and naming it so she'll know I made that time for her. She was really needing some extra attention, and I think it has really helped. I can only imagine how hard it will be to do that with both when #2 gets older and needs more of that!

  3. I totally feel you on this one. I keep thinking "I was a much better mom before the baby was born." That is not to say that I wish I didn't have the baby, but realizing I have less patience and attention for each child. And I have found it very difficult to get anything done when I have both kids with me. I'm glad someone else feels this way, though I wouldn't wish the feeling on anyone!

    I do wonder how some moms of more than one are so together. It puzzles me!


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